Organization is key in high order multiple births
Families lean on support group for help
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| SCOTT COUSINS PHOTO Members of the Mothers of Multiples in Metro East St. Louis wait on customers at the group's Children's Re-Sell-It sale, held Saturday at Metro East Lutheran High School, in Edwardsville. MOMMES is a support group for women who have given birth to high-order multiples (triplets or more). |
 
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And usually there were more than one. Sometimes a lot more.
Mothers of Multiples in Metro East St. Louis held its bi-annual Children's Re-Sell-It Saturday at Metro East Lutheran High School in Edwardsville.MOMMES is a support group for women who have given birth to "high-order multiples," meaning triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets and so on.
So when they have a sale, there is usually a lot to get rid of.
"This is one of our biggest events," said coordinator Jennifer Meyer-Ashauer, of Hamel. "We have it twice a year, in the spring and the fall."
The rest of the time, the organization - which has between 200 and 300 members - provides financial, organizational and general support for its members. Usually the group meets one or two nights per month at dinners held in various restaurants, or an occasional pot-luck.
The group also does larger events like hayrides, picnics and Easter parties.
"What we do is important because a singleton (single) birth is quite common," Meyer-Ashauer said. "You take it times three, it's really important and helpful to know someone who's been there, done that."
She said the basic message for any question, whether it is how do you feed, or schedule doctor's appointments, prepare formula for or even keep track of, three or more babies is "you will get through it."
Like many members, Meyer-Ashauer joined when she found out she was having triplets, now 5-and-a-half.
"My OB/GYN suggested that I contact MOMMES. I have been a very active member ever since."
She said the support of the group was "crucial," if for no other reason than it was nice to hear how others had done it.
"I did not have anybody in our family with high-order multiples," she said. "Your friends are like 'We rock them to sleep every night,' or we do this or we do that. When you have twins, you usually have a mom and a dad and two babies. But if you have triplets or more, there's always one or two that are odd man out."
Tiffany Nimmons, of Granite City, has 14-month-old triplets, and also became a member when she was pregnant.
"We can have mentors and get a lot of answers to some scary questions," Nimmons said. "Just to have support is the main thing. To get to know people who know what we're going through day-to-day."
Liz Peel, of Collinsville, the mother of 2-and-a-half-year-old triplet sisters Molly, Kylie and Dylan, didn't join until after they were born.
"I had filled out all the paperwork, but didn't get to know people until after they were born," she said.
"I joined when I was about 14 weeks pregnant," said Amy Stehlin, of Maryville, the mother of Alaina, Matt and Nate, now 6-and-a-half. "I heard about it from my doctor, and I had some questions about my pregnancy and I thought it would be a good way to get some information about different things I was going through with my pregnancy."
She said as her children grow, some of the issues change.
"Now, since they're a little bit older, I get some help from the older moms," she said.
Azar Doyle, of Edwardsville, is one of those.
A member since before her children, 7-year-old Mathiew, Jakob and Isabella Rose were born, she has been around long enough to start giving advice.
"I find myself being more important to the people who have younger children, because I am one of the more experienced ones," she said. "I mentor people who have just found out they are pregnant."
"It is a shock," she said of finding out that she was giving birth to triplets. "It is so very, very hard to think that there are three little individuals the same age that you have to do everything for."
All agreed the key is organization.
Meyer-Ashauer said MOMMES can provide feeding, bathroom and medicine charts.
"Because you just can't physically remember when you have three or more," she said."
In her case, she used color-coded rubber bands on formula bottles.
"You have to be organized and you have to stay on a schedule," Nimmons said. " If you get off the schedule it would be chaos."
Peel agreed.
"Bedtime is always the same, bath time is always the same, breakfast, lunch and dinner are always at the same time," she said. "Because multiples are so regimented as to structure, if anything is a little out of place they notice right away, and it might upset them a little more than others."
She said her closets are all organized by size and season.
"You have to be very on top of things and know where everything is in the house," she said.
"It's just a wonderful, wonderful experience," Doyle added. "And it's a lot of work."
For information about the group, visit www.mommes.org.
